Heartbroken

In 2007 I was driving past the Kenyan Presidential Compound in Nairobi when I was struck with heartbreak. About ¼ of a mile from the lush and secure grounds of the President’s compound was a large trash heap. It covered a good part of the hillside and there were people digging through it. I’m sure most were looking for food; some may have been looking for a needed item. ¼ mile separated wealth and poverty. ¼ mile separated a man who claims to be for his people and the actual people. The double standard hung heavy in the air. Perhaps the smells of Kenya that were unpleasant weren’t so much about the actual trash, human filth, and air pollution but more about the hypocrisy, hardness of human heart, and greed.

Fast forward 3 years to a muggy night in Washington D.C. We are driving toward the White House. My 12 year old is looking out one side of the car and I am looking out the opposite. I hear a noise from within our car. I turn and see my 12 year old sobbing, trying to keep it secret and hidden. What in the world? I ask her quietly what happened? Is she hurt? What could have possibly happened to her from the safety of our car? In a halting voice, with tears running down her face, sobs interrupting her words she explains. She was looking out the window and saw a family, with a toddler who was about 2 or 3 years old, searching through a dumpster that was located next to a restaurant. And it broke her heart. The safety of our car couldn’t protect her from the realities of poverty, just like the safety of the van in Kenya 3 years ago couldn’t keep me from seeing and feeling the same thing. She cried for the next half hour, she was inconsolable. The car was quiet as we all processed the breaking of a 12 year olds heart from a reality that penetrates every country on this Earth. Perhaps the heavy air that night in our Nation’s Capitol wasn’t so much about humidity in the air but more about the hypocrisy, hardness of human heart, and greed.

After I had returned from my first Kenya trip I had watched a documentary on a ministry located in Mozambique. One of the Pastors interviewed said something that has resonated in my heart ever since. I believe that the idea was always in me and this man just helped me to find the right words to convey it. It was simple. “Lord, break my heart with the things that break Yours.” And isn’t that what we are called to do? We are called to be like Jesus and part of that means that we have a heart like his. It took me 33 years to get that, it only took my daughter 12.

The irony of the heartbreak struck me. Hers happened in much the same way mine did. We were less than a mile away from the White House, just like the President’s compound in Kenya, when she saw the same scene I did in Kenya. Sure a trash heap is way different than a dumpster but the reason behind why those people are digging through either is the same. They have a need that isn’t being fulfilled. And the truth is we have the resources to fill those needs. And the truth is we are commanded to fill those needs. God has told us there will ALWAYS be poverty stricken people. Why? Why would a loving God do that to those he says he loves? While I can’t say I know for sure I think that there may be a bigger lesson for us in those we come across who are poverty stricken. Can we be open handed? Can we sacrifice our Starbucks habit for one week and donate the savings to (fill in the blank)? Can we open our eyes and see the need all around us? Can we lay aside our fears that arise when poverty is staring us in the face and take action? Can we allow our hearts to be broken for that which breaks the heart of God? WILL WE?

By the way, I haven’t “arrived”. I’m not there yet. I’m working on it. Sometimes I forget that I’m supposed to be allowing my heart to be broken and moved for the least of these. And God is gracious to give me a reminder. Sometimes he reminds me through the breaking of my daughter’s heart.

“If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs….Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land.” Deuteronomy 15:7-8, 10-11