The Spirit of Courage

Winding our way through the slum we hopped over streams of sewage, dodged piles of trash, skirted around roaming goats and pigs and arrived at our second home in the Valley that we were honored to visit that day. We filed into this home, slightly larger and brighter than the last, and found seats. Standing in front of us was Wanja and her littlest, Morgan. At two years old he was eyeing us wazungu (white people!) and clinging to his mother's skirt. Wanja shared her story in her native language, Swahili, and Anthony translated for us.

Wanja was married with three children when her husband passed away. His family expelled her children and her out of the home and somehow she found her way to Mathare Valley. Wanja was HIV positive and pregnant. When Morgan was born she was faced with a choice. And no matter what her decision was it would end up meaning certain death for this new little life. Morgan was HIV negative when he was born but he needed to eat to live. And Wanja knew that she didn't have enough money to buy formula to feed him and if she breastfed him he would get the virus and be HIV positive. What to do? She had two choices. Let him starve to death or feed him and give him a virus that would end up killing him someday. Trust me, a mother's heart - a parent's heart - can't take the options that lie before Wanja that day. There is a Jewish Proverb that says, "When you have no choice, mobilize the spirit of courage." Wanja had to mobilize the spirit of courage to make this choice.

The spirit of courage that Wanja had to meet face to face made the decision for her. She breastfed her baby, giving him life and death at the same time.

We all stared at Wanja, twisting a piece of material in her hands with tears threatening to spill over as she told us her decision. And then we all looked at Morgan, with his big eyes curiously checking us out. The sounds of the slum faded away and a silence fell over the group. I glanced around the room to see tears falling down the faces of my team members. Horrified for Wanja, that she was forced to make such a choice. Horrified for ourselves, what would our decision be if we found ourselves in the same position?

Many people will ask, how can Wanja live with her decision? The answer is the same reason why Emma can live with hope. She was rescued from the dark by the One who created her. She accepted the gift of salvation that Jesus offers...freely. Not many things in this life are free but Wanja came across the one thing that was not only free but also gave her the courage she needs to live with her decision every day as she cares for her little boy.

As we left her home she hugged each of us and there was no shame, no despair, no fear evident. She takes God at his word. She knows that even with the hard choices he will not leave her, nor will he leave her children. She walks tall and with confidence because God is her strength, her determination, and her courage.

Wanja is part of a ministry at Mathare Worship Centre called Taraja. This is a group of women who are trained to do different trades such as beading, basket weaving, etc that will enable them to create goods to sell and provide an income for their families. The remainder of the week we would find Wanja in front of a loom weaving baskets and such. Her smile was a copycat of Emma's, it lit up the Valley. We would purposely seek her out just to get a smile for the day.

Sometimes we need a picture of the thing we seek. And all of us seek different things. Courage has always been a hard one for me. I am not a risk-taker, something I think requires courage. I would rather follow than lead because I believe leadership takes courage. I prefer to be told what to do rather than make a decision because decisions can alter life events and I don't think of myself as courageous enough to make a choice. All of these really lead back to risk. Taking a risk requires courage and I am the "cowardly lion"! But I sat in Wanja's home and witnessed what courage looks like, feels like, sounds like. And I knew that if she could make a choice like that then certainly I could rise to the occasion when called upon. I just have to "mobilize the spirit of courage" like she did and go forward confident in God's presence with me.

Hearing Wanja's story that day gave me the picture of courage my heart needed. I think of courage and I think of Wanja.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 NIV)

A life that overflows with hope

The first time I met her I was unsure and out of place. It didn't help that we spoke two different languages. I spoke English and had said I would "never" go to Africa and she spoke Swahili and had grown up in a 6 square mile piece of land in Africa. We communicated with the universal gestures. I had landed in Mathare Valley, Kenya in a room full of Kenyan babies and their caregiver, Emma. I spent most of that morning with Emma but since we couldn't speak to one another with any sort of understanding I didn't even get to know her name. But I didn't forget her.

Fast forward two years and I meet up with Emma once again. This time I was thrilled to be back in Mathare Valley and I found Emma in the cookhouse on the roof of the church. And this time I determined to get to know Emma despite our communication barriers. We smiled at one another and I was struck. Her smile lit up the Valley!

Many will ask, "How can she smile? Doesn't she know where she is?" The answer? Oh it's so simple that we have complicated it. The answer is HOPE. Many look at the Valley and and don't see hope, instead they see despair. But Emma proves that hope is alive in Mathare Valley.

On Monday afternoon Pastor took us on a tour through the Valley. It was the first time I would be face to face with the oldest slum in East Africa. The church sits on the main road and on the fringes of the rows and rows of homes that are the make-up of the Valley, so the only interaction I had to this point with the slum was a few of its residents and children that are active in the church. We started winding our way through the rows of homes toward the first of the houses we would visit that day. As we got closer the space to move got tighter and the light grew dimmer. Finally we arrived, single file, at the home of...Emma. I was thrilled! She welcomed us into a space that didn't feel like it could accommodate 16 people and was pitch black despite the kerosene lamp burning. The flame went straight up but didn't emit light into Emma's home. We crowded into her pitch black home and listened to her share her story in Swahili while Anthony translated.

Emma, her Christian name, is an HIV positive mother that has three children. One of her boys, John, lives at Sanctuary of Hope (SoH) with Pastor and Mama Karau. Everyday she cooks two meals at the church for the school children. She worships on the worship team each Sunday. She lives in hope because she invited Jesus into her life and allowed him to transform her darkness into light. What an honor it was to be welcomed into Emma's home, to hear her story, to be reminded that hope shines brightly in the midst of despair.

During the next week that we spent there, every time I saw Emma we smiled and greeted one another. It made my day to see her smile, so big and bright. I would seek her out each day just to see that smile. My heart warmed toward this woman whose circumstances said she should live in despair and yet hope told her she could live. This was a lesson my heart needed to grab onto and take home with me.

Our last Sunday in Kenya Emma stood on a stage with the worship team and worshipped the Lord, who rescued her from the pit. My attention was captured by her joy in worship, by the freedom she was living in because of God. She freely rejoiced in the Lord, uninhibited by her past or even her present. Her countenance reflected how joy and peace flowed in her life because of hope and it overflowed to touch others. I will never forget Emma's smile, it shines with the promises of God and the overflow of hope.

"Yet if you devote your heart to him and stretch out your hands to him, if you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear. You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety." (Job 11:13-18 NIV)